"The same thing we do every week, Pinky"

Today's children are not like those we raised in days of yore. They are not amused by simple toys, say, a mailing envelope on the head. They must have the latest technical gadget. These babies won't be bought off with last year's cell phone - even if it has batteries - even if it is charged; if mom and dad don't use it, neither will they. And don't even get them started on a bright plastic colored "phone" that talks like Elmo. They know. They know more than you.

The first thing Max wants EVERYDAY is to have his picture taken on my camera. He always knows where it is. Even when I hide it from view he can still sense it somehow and points right to it. He wants his every mood validated from happy and goofy to sad and despised of all babies. He knows how to wear the right accessories for the shoot.

"See," he says, "I'm sad." "No one loves me. No one lets me play with remotes or cords or grandma's medicine or whatever Sammy has right now or drop my cars in the toilet. I'm gonna eat some worms. Until I get a little taller and then I'll take over the world!"

As I said, you can't buy a child off with a substitute or just pretend. Max knows when I actually take a picture and he knows how to push the buttons to see it on the camera screen. Sometimes he gets so excited that he can't sit still for the photo and lunges for the camera

Or tries to push the button to see the photo before it's even taken.

"What am I thinking now, grandma?"

Max has learned to pose on cue - to "sparkle". But it's all a ploy to suck in the grown-ups, to blind us to his long term plans.

If taking over the world doesn't pan out, he's always got his fall back plan of a rock musician.

I did manage to sneak a photo of him at his most vulnerable, when he lets his hair down, so to speak. Whenever Max has his sippy cup his hand goes up to his head in a little ballerina position - index finger down, the others up daintily as he drinks his milk and drops off to sleep. Perhaps he's not quite the evil overthrower yet.